I Blamed God

When ‘bad’ things happen to us we are often confused as to why this bad thing is happening. We spend hours trying to figure out the answer, and most of the time, the answer never comes. Most try to find someone or something to blame and when we fail at this attempt, we blame God. He, at times, seems to be the only reasonable explanation. And if you do think God is involved in these terrible situations you find yourself in, well you might be closer to the truth than you realize.

But when it comes to life challenges, this is not so easily diagnosed.

Let’s dig into this is in a much more meaningful way. This will require some concentration and attention on our part. If we suffered from some physical ailment, we would rightly conclude that we have a disease or some type of virus and are in need of some medicine. This is simple enough. We don’t get confused about what is the disease and what is the medicine. But when it comes to life challenges, this is not so easily diagnosed.

Now let us look at this from the right angle.

We confuse what is the medicine and what is the illness. Let us take for example an alcoholic whose life is deteriorating to the point that he received a DUI and was placed in jail for a lengthy stay. As he sits there trying to figure things out, he concludes that more than anything else, he needs to get out of jail. To him, being in jail is the disease and the medicine is to get out. Now let us look at this from the right angle. In truth, his disease is his inability to stop drinking. Alcoholism. That’s the real problem. Realizing this, one might say, “you’re right Bill, so the medicine would be treatment or a program of recovery.”

Not so fast. We confuse what is the medicine and what is the illness.

You’re only half right.

Sure he needs a program, but in order for any program to work, he must first want to change and have a willingness and desire to get sober. This step must come first.

What would be the correct medicine for his unwillingness to change?

Yes sir, that is the medicine.

Pain. Pain is the best medicine for any alcoholic or addict that lacks the ‘want to’ to get clean and sober. Pain can melt away even the greatest unwillingness and produce the strongest desire for sobriety. Yes sir, that is the medicine. As a matter of fact, I cannot recall any alcoholic or addict that I have treated that wasn’t motivated by some type of pain. So to our friend in jail, we must help him to understand that the pain of jail is in fact, part of the medicine that will produce a cure if they allow it and God is willing.

Using the information from above, we now can look within and try to make sense of the “senseless suffering” that occurs in our lives. Spiritually speaking, let’s try to determine what is the disease and what is the medicine that cures.

An example from my own life: I was offered a scholarship to Washburn University after completing 2 years of college at a Junior College. I went to Topeka to secure a job and an apartment so I could accept the scholarship. I went all over that town trying to find a job and was turned down at every single interview. I even applied at a mental hospital to empty bedpans and was rejected!

I thought this was senseless suffering. So, I headed home with a very bruised ego. Coupled with disappointment and anger, I screamed at God. Why did this happen and for what reason? I was poor, I needed this scholarship, and I couldn’t pay my way through another two years of schooling.

Little did I know, at the time I was being turned down for all those jobs in Topeka, a much more remarkable job was waiting for me.

About two weeks after this heartbreaking ordeal, I received an offer from a hospital to begin an alcohol and drug treatment center in their facility. I couldn’t believe it! My entry into this field was to start a treatment center. I went on to do that, and it became a successful endeavor that still brings me pleasure when I think about it.

I needed every bit of skill and knowledge I could get about how to start and operate a treatment center.

No, the disease was my self-will and lack of faith.

What I didn’t know then was that another amazing opportunity was in my future. I would eventually take this skill and knowledge elsewhere to open up a treatment center in Wichita called Atishwin. This treatment center has lasted thirty-five years and has helped thousands of alcoholics and drug addicts. I thought the illness was not being able to accept the scholarship. I thought the medicine was to secure employment, thus allowing me to continue going to school. No, the disease was my self-will and lack of faith. This was evident by my unwillingness to accept the situation as being exactly the way it was supposed to be at that time.

What is the cure for this type of self-centered willfulness? Being turned down for every job applied for. There have been many of these types of experiences throughout my life and I am just now becoming willing to be grateful for them.

God loves those who He corrects

Let us try to realize that sometimes when what we consider to be bad things that happen to us are no more than a loving father trying to help us grow up. Just as you teach a child to share their toys by taking all the toys away until they learn to share. A child doesn’t see this correction as medicine for the disease of selfishness, but as you being a mean parent. As the child matures into an adult, they become thankful for all the pain (medicine) that you gave them. We too have a loving father who is preparing us for eternity. For this to become a reality, we must grow into the likeness of our father. God loves those who He corrects. Let us accept these corrections and try to discover the meaning behind the pain. And once discovered, don’t forget to thank Him.


Written by Bill on February 8, 2016 in Blog

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  • Three Choices

The immediate object of our quest is sobriety—freedom from alcohol and from all its baleful consequences. Without this freedom, we have nothing at all.

Paradoxically, though, we can achieve no liberation from the alcohol obsession until we become willing to deal with those character defects which have landed us in that helpless condition. In this freedom quest, we are always given three choices.

A rebellious refusal to work upon our glaring defects can be an almost certain ticket to destruction. Or, perhaps for a time, we can stay sober with a minimum of self-improvement and settle ourselves into a comfortable but often dangerous mediocrity. Or, finally, we can continuously try hard for those sterling qualities that can add up to fineness of spirit and action—true and lasting freedom under God.

The Recovery Effect Podcast – Episode 17: 
The Road Most Trudged
  • “Courage and Prudence

When fear persisted, we knew it for what it was, and we became able to handle it. We began to see each adversity as a God-given opportunity to develop the kind of courage which is born of humility, rather than of bravado.

Prudence is a workable middle ground, a channel of clear sailing between the obstacles of fear on the one side and of recklessness on the other. Prudence in practice creates a definite climate, the only climate in which harmony, effectiveness, and consistent spiritual progress can be achieved. “Prudence is rational concern without worry.” GRAPEVINE, JAN 1962

Experience 60 Seconds Of Recovery - 60 Second Podcasts
True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good character was something one needed to get on with the business of being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we’d stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted. But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness. Seldom did we look at character-building as something desirable in itself, something we would like to strive for whether our instinctual needs were met or not. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of living.

The Recovery Effect Podcast – Episode 14: 
What It Takes To Succeed

We, of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem. We are average Americans. All sections  of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds. We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.

The Recovery Effect Podcast – 
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  • “Out of Defeat ... Strength

If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol.  Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old life as a condition for finding a new one.
AA BB P. 33 & A.A. COMES OF AGE, P. 46

The Recovery Effect Podcast – Episode 23: 
Our Greatest Enemy, Part 1 & Part 2

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